from Terminal Wound Ballistics

Severance is negotiated.
Reconciliation                                                                      imposed though
                                   at the time         not
                 He knew little of the Gulag.
                 You then became entirely honest.
Do you want to know what he said?
                                                               how he said it?
           Would you like to hear how she carried him?
Abraded by the wind
                                               he had no time for
                                               virgins impaled on their own technique.
Betrayed the look of a man willingly withdrawn from usurious capitalism but nonetheless
overshadowed by the ambiguity of his renunciation.
Do you want to know what he said?
                                                                                    what he said?
                                    How he
                                                                      carried her?
                          TOTUS                                                                     TUUS
                       PLAYDOUGH                                                         FONDUE
                       PRAEDO                                                                  SUNDUE
                         PREDATOR                                                            MENU
                  PRETERITE                                                             SUMPTUOUS
Our tenure in the darkness
                                               your touch                                  obtuse
A heart’s angle of incidence
                                                                       imagined and
                                                                                                           not reckoned.
These were ways of dividing affection between accomplices you had no truck with.
These were ways of dividing affection between accomplices with whom you were not in tow.
These were ways of dividing love between accomplices whom you subsequently discovered would not have thus divided.
Guile                            –                                 sexual / psychic
                                                                       in their gene code.
                       The erotics
                                                of conclusion.


Direction of budgeting:
Transaction processing system:
Order processing system:
Directionality of accounts processing:
Fiscal forecasting:
Cross-functional enterprise planning:
Directionality of cross-functional enterprise:
Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP):
ERP accounting & finance:
ERP sales distribution and order management:
ERP agility quotients:
Supply Chain Management (SCM) design:
SCM collaborative demand:
Supply planning for SCM:
Materials management for SCM:
Collaborative manufacturing plan for SCM:
Collaborative fulfilment for SCM:
Supply chain event management:
Supply chain performance management:
Web-based procurement content management:
Web-based procurement catalogue management:
Web-based procurement event notification:
E-payment encryption:
E-payment value quotients:
E-payment performance & service quotients:
E-payment look & feel quotients:
E-payment community relationship indicators:
E-payment reliability:
monitoring n/a.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.
inconsistently monitored.

No degree of executive investment in CRM development can protect a fundamentally flawed architecture from employees who hate its guts in the first place. Addressing bugs in legacy software systems is only half the battle. Sometimes it becomes necessary to fuck the infrastructure in order to save it.

            “Słowa są bez poręczy.”
                                               (Jerzy Pietrkiewicz)

Testing the effect of time on annual communication over a five-year period.
One message a year is sent to an individual acting as a placeholder for an Other in the mind of the subject. Language thus gains the upper hand and maybe referred to in any or all encounters taking place at times other than those of the sending of the message. The Other is maintained; the placeholder is astonished. Yet in ethical terms the hypothesis is that if the language-use is entirely non-confrontational, the vulnerability of the subject in leaving defences down, initially incurring losses, will repay annual dividends. Words have no banisters. Come back in five years and we’ll let you know how it goes.

tess                    eeff                    tie                     comm               fie
pee                    mess                  ind                    act                   play
thur                  ferr                   count                main                hold
cal                     poth                  ish                    con                  vul
fence                 sub                    leav                 vest                  rap
ban                   tur                     um                   we                   how

Look honey I really like you, but I don’t see you ever being mother to my eight kids. I mean we can try for one or two. Three at most. But not eight. It’s not that I’m against the whole coloratura thing that you’ve got going on, but sometimes it’s like I’m James Maddalena to your Kathleen Kim in Nixon in China. And that can be fun for an evening or a week or maybe even six months. But it’s not the basis for a stable nuclear family life. I’m sorry. I really like you, but I think you should consider getting some dental work done.

Morning.                                                                  Gone.

Mediterranean cypress in Tarragona (June). Recovery after a bad day.

Maybe I sought to understand things that had happened by turning them in to causes.

She is now ten years dead, though I do not feel that this connects with anything else I’ve been going through yesterday or today.

A message from an old friend, now married, cheered me up. She and her new husband are involved in a custody battle with his ex-wife. Sounds tough but I was happy to hear from her.

The work went well. The defence was efficiently organised. Though I wouldn’t go back to this sort of thing.

                        (Oh who can calculate the damages inflicted on us by defences!)

Standing in the hot, deserted amphitheatre beside the tree, I was consumed by the lonely mechanisms of hunger and longing.

She was interested not so much in probity as in removing all avenues of possible appeal.

Timid. Clean shaven.

                                     Twitchy with the potential for nuanced atrocities.


John Kearns

John Kearns is a writer and translator living in Dublin. The sections from ‘Terminal Wound Ballistics’ printed here are part of a longer sequence.

John Kearns's website »